All around us there are celebrations happening – graduations, weddings, reunions of friends and families who have been apart for over a year, new jobs; you name it we are celebrating and for good reason! Big events in our lives, big accomplishments and major milestones in life are definitely worth celebrating. But not everyone is celebrating. Some people are experiencing disappointment or uncertainty. They didn’t get the grades that they expected or wanted; they don’t have an internship or job for the summer yet; they didn’t get the promotion that they thought they would get; they don’t yet know where they will go to school next fall; they can’t keep up with the expectations that life keeps throwing at them.
For people with ADHD, these scenarios are all too familiar, and yet they too, long to celebrate and be celebrated; to be seen for their accomplishment, to meet the expectation of others and of themselves, to be on the Dean’s list, to get that promotion, to follow through with what they said they would do. They are not going through life wishing that they could disappoint others, including themselves. In fact, our clients many times say things like, “why can’t I just do it?”. Unfortunately, parents, teachers, or adults tend to perceive these actions (or lack thereof) as intentional, as willful or as a lack of motivation which only feeds into the ongoing experience that the person with ADHD has of disappointment, of shame, and of being “broken”. What if instead of seeing the person as lazy or unmotivated, we could see them as not having the skills and offer them help and compassion and be with them in their experience of disappointment – and we could look for their mini successes and celebrate with them.
At EEC we do just this. We work with our clients and with other professionals to help change the narrative that people with ADHD are lazy or unmotivated. Our approach is informed by psychologist and author, Ross Greene whose philosophy is that kids do well if they can and if they can’t it is because they lack skills. While helping our clients build new skills, we also help them see the good, the strengths, the success. At the heart of our coaching is not just skill building; it is connection, compassion, hope, and yes, celebration! Life is hard when you have ADHD. There are numerous obstacles, and those are easy to see because they happen repeatedly throughout the day and people notice those and point them out constantly. It’s time to start seeing the successes in the lives of people with ADHD and to celebrate them, no matter how big or how small because each day deserves a celebration and little celebrations can lead to big celebrations! Can you join us and see and name what you or your child is doing well? Share them with us so that we can celebrate with you and build a community – a wall of celebration and wonderful – that sees the good, names the good, and celebrates the many things that so often are overlooked.